


Friendly Goodbye

by aftermathangel



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 22:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aftermathangel/pseuds/aftermathangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Adam and Sauli break up Adam falls into a depressive spiral. Will a chance meeting with Sauli at a bar be the wakeup call he needs?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Been A Long Time

** Adam **

I stood at the bar waiting for my first drink of the night when I heard it. At first it was far off but then it got closer and I sighed, that melodic laugh still drove me crazy. I was thankful that I had decided to actually look halfway decent tonight before leaving the house. I tried to plan my escape route but I knew that it would be no use. The bartender handed me my drink and as I turned around he was standing right in front of me with one of his friends. He looked at me and gave me a huge smile … a year later and it still set my heart on fire.

“Adam … hi. How are you?”

“I’m ok … you look good.” Somehow I managed to choke out the words, breathing was hard looking into those eyes of his. How could I STILL feel this way?!

“You too … it’s been a long time.”

“Sure has …”

I could see some of Sauli’s friends trying to get his attention from across the bar that they were leaving. Sauli noticed and gave me another smile lightly touching my arm.

“I have to go … my ride is leaving. It was really good to see you Adam.”

“You too Sauli … take care.”

He walked away and I couldn’t help but watch him as he left … I missed him so. I sat at the bar and proceeded to drink myself numb. It was the only thing that dulled the pain I was in … the only thing that made my life bearable when I had nothing going on like lately. When I had my gigs and was around my girls I could always put a brave face on and smile thru it but not now. Now I was broken … and nothing no amount of coddling by my fans was going to help. At the end of the night I could barely walk straight. Somehow I made my way to a taxi and in my condo. I stumbled into the bedroom and flopped onto the bed passing out before I could even change.


	2. He's A Bit Strange

** Sauli **

I couldn’t believe that I had ran into Adam just out of the blue. He looked just as amazing as I remembered. My friends were planning on going bar hopping but I wasn’t really into it anymore. Seeing him had made my heart start fluttering all over again. My friend Pia gently grabbed my arm giggling.

“Sauli!! I’m talking to you … you’re completely out of it.”

I tried to force a smile on my face and lightly pushed her arm. “Sorry Pia … have a lot on my mind. I think I’m going to call a taxi and head home.”

“I can give you a ride you don’t have a call a cab.”

“No that’s alright … in fact it’s only about 10 blocks I’ll walk. I could use the time to think anyway.” She nodded giving me a once over to try to read me. She was so protective and I loved that about her.

“Call me if you need me ok? You have a good night.”

“I will.”

I gave her a hug and started out on my journey. It was hard to believe how seeing the man who was the love of my life, for 2 minutes had started my blood boiling again. I guess I missed him more than I thought I did. I walked into my apartment and saw that my roommate Tye was sitting on the couch.

“Hey Sauli.”

“Hi …” I didn’t necessarily mean to mumble the word but it sorta came out that way. As soon as it left my lips I could see Tye’s face soften.

“Alright … what’s wrong?”

“Nothing …” I tried to walk past him into my room but he put his arm out halting my progress.

“Sauli, I know there’s something on your mind … spill.

Feeling defeated I sat down on the couch as he followed suit. “I saw Adam tonight …”

“Oh …”

Tye was really good friends with Adam in fact Adam had set up this whole apartment situation.

“Have you seen him lately?”

“Yeah a couple weeks ago. Went out to Bootsy Bellows with a huge group for Sutan’s birthday. Did he seem a bit off to you?”

“No … not really. I was only around him for not even 2 minutes though. Why did you get the feeling something was wrong?” My eyes filled with fear for him. He could be so self-destructive when things weren’t going well and I hoped that wasn’t what Tye was picking up on. It would break my heart to know he was hurting that badly. Tye noticed the fear in my eyes and stood up from the couch.

“I don’t know maybe I’m wrong I was never all that good at reading him. I’m going to head to bed I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As soon as he left the room I reached into my pocket and brought up my contacts list. Scrolling thru the list my thumb landed on Adam’s name. I hesitated a moment and then hit call letting it ring 10 times before I sighed and hung up without leaving a message.


	3. Bundle Of Nerves

** Adam **

I opened my eyes and immediately shut them putting the pillow over my head to drown out the light as my head throbbed. My stomach felt like crap but I was used to it by now. I remembered how Sauli used to massage my forehead to try to lessen the pain. Then he’d go get me some orange juice and Tylenol and snuggle until I started feeling better … I missed that so much. I reached over and popped a pill in my mouth swallowing it dry. I looked at my phone and what I saw made my mouth drop … Sauli had called me. I held the phone in my hand contemplating calling him back. Maybe he needed something? I dialed the number and after a few rings a half asleep voice answered.

 _“Hi Adam …”_ His voice was low and raspy sleep still obvious in it. I immediately felt awful.

_“Did I wake you? I’m so sorry …”_

_“No … no you didn’t. Got up about 10 minutes ago but I’m still tired. Didn’t sleep well last night.”_

_“I saw you called. Did you need something?”_

I could hear the hesitation in his voice before he spoke. “ _I just … are you free tomorrow morning? We could go get some coffee or something? Thought it would be nice to catch up.”_ He let out a little sputtered breath and I could tell for whatever reason he was super nervous about asking me. Seeing me must’ve had the same effect on him as it did on me.

_“I have a meeting all day tomorrow.”_

_“Oh ok … maybe we can get together some … other time then.”_ He was being so shy and reserved a side I rarely ever got to see. It seemed as though he was going to get ready to say his goodbyes when I interrupted.

_“I’m free tonight if you are …”_

He coughed letting out a nervous little sputter. “ _Oh umm sure. How about I meet you at Katsuya for dinner … 5:30pm ok?”_

_“Yeah 5:30pm is great … I’ll see you then.”_

He hung up the phone and I just sat there a bundle of nerves. I was broken and a part of me didn’t want Sauli to see that … he deserved to be happy whether that was with me or not. I went and got done and ready since it was already 1:30pm. To kill the time I organized the condo a bit placing all the empty liquor bottles in the garbage and downed almost a whole bottle of wine. About 4pm there was a loud knock on my door. I walked over and was surprised to see Sauli standing behind it. I hadn’t put my makeup on yet so my eyes were dark and sunken pretty much looking like death. Sauli just stood there not sure what to say or think. I slowly moved aside allowing him to come in.

“I thought I was meeting you at Katsuya?”

“Pia had to come over this way so she offered to give me a ride. I figured then I wouldn’t have to worry about getting a cab … I tried to call but your phone was off. I didn’t think you’d mind.” His eyes got big thinking I was mad at him being there but that definitely wasn’t the case. A part of me wanted to give him a hug but I just nervously clasped my hands in front of me.

“I don’t mind one bit … I just have to go finish getting done yet.”

“No problem take your time.”

I walked in the bathroom but managed to sneak a glance back out at him. He had sat down on the couch with his head in his hands. At that moment I wished I could know what was going on in that brain of his. He looked so broken.


	4. You Look ... Perfect

** Sauli **

Adam looked awful … I could now see what Tye had been talking about. He looked a hot mess. I went in the kitchen to get a glass of water and that’s when I saw garbage can full of at least 2 dozen empty liquor bottles. I turned around to move toward the fridge and when I did Adam was standing right in front of me.

“What do you think you’re doing?!?”

“I was getting a drink of water.”

His eyes were intently staring at my face like it was trying to bore a hole into it. He flung his arm up gesturing toward the garbage bag. “Don’t act like you didn’t see it. Go ahead tell a tabloid that I’m a raging alcoholic … that I’m using drugs again. Go ahead I don’t … care.”

“You seriously think I’d do that to you?” I questioned shaking my head … I could NEVER do that to him. He didn’t answer me just leaned up against the wall sliding down it, tears smudging the fresh makeup on his eyes. I couldn’t help it, I grabbed a napkin and knelt down next to him. “Come on now … stop. Let’s get you all cleaned up.” He allowed me to dab the runny makeup away from his eyes. Then I looked at him gently patting his arm. “There … perfect.”

He looked at me and then proceeded to puke next to him passing out afterward. Somehow I managed to get him situated in bed. Knowing he wasn’t in any condition to go anywhere, I soaked a rag in ice cold water and gently placed it on his forehead. Then I walked out in the living room and cleaned up the puke scrubbing the carpet with some random cleaner I found under the bathroom sink. He managed to sleep straight thru the night. I slept on the couch … I felt like I couldn’t abandon him. Before falling asleep I had checked his iPhone calendar and noticed that his meeting started at 10am. So I set my phone’s alarm for 7am then I got up to make him a small breakfast with ran to the store to buy him some fresh squeezed orange juice. I walked into the bedroom to see that he was stirring the sunlight bouncing off his cheeks. He opened his eyes and let out a grunt closing them as a wave of nausea hit him. I could tell he didn’t see me so I walked over to the side of the bed. He could smell the food and his face screwed up in confusion before he slowly opened his eyes a bit.

“Come on now it’s getting late … it’s already 8:15am. Here’s a couple pills and some orange juice. I made you an egg white omelet if you think you can keep it down.”

He slowly sat up rubbing his temple as another wave hit.

“What happened … last night? Did we go out to dinner?”

“No you got sick on the floor and passed out.”

“You put me in bed?!?” His eyes grew wide in disbelief as he reached toward the glass.

“Well I wasn’t very well going to leave you on the floor was I?” Adam popped the pills in his mouth and gulped down the orange juice. He managed to take a couple bites of the omelet but started dry heaving his face ghost white. “Lie down Adam … you look terrible. Let me help you.” I helped him lie down and went and took his temperature. The thermometer buzzed alerting to a fever being present and the display lit up with 102.5F. He looked sick as a dog as he laid there looking so frail and delicate. He used to partake in drinks and party with me but he never looked THIS sick afterward. “Do you HAVE to go to this meeting?” I questioned lightly touching his arm.

“Yes, I’ve cancelled it once … already.”

He was so weak he could barely keep his arms up. I slowly and gently sat him on the edge of the bed and got out his hair and makeup supplies. It came in handy that I knew exactly how he wore everything so this way I could make him look as presentable as possible. After I finished I looked into his eyes and noticed exactly how broken he was.

“Need help getting changed?”

“Yeah … if you don’t mind. I’ll just wear what I wore yesterday … where is it anyway?”

“I hung it up last night after I put sweats on you.”

I retrieved the clothes and helped him change. As he slid off his sweats he was very shy and reserved … definitely not himself. He definitely was uncomfortable having my eyes on him that intimately. After he was dressed I semi smiled at him.

“Do I look alright?” He looked at me for approval his lips pursed in uncertainty. 

“You look … perfect. I can drive you over to your meeting if you want. I got my license a few months ago. Just don’t have a car that I can drive unless Tye loans me his.”

He nodded and I helped him up holding onto his shaky body. I hated seeing him like this. I got him out to the car and helped him sit in the passenger seat. He gave me directions and we started the 45 minute drive out to the office. When we got there he got out of the car by himself and turned toward me. It was obvious he was feeling better.

“Text me when you’re done ok? Unless you feel you’ll be able to drive. I can always get a taxi or something …”

“No Sauli … I wouldn’t strand you I’ll drive you home. So I’ll text you alright?”

“Ok …”

He walked a few steps toward the building before stopping and turning toward me.

“Hey Sauli?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you …”

“Anytime Addy …”


	5. Intervention

** Adam **

I walked into the building and made my way to the 5th floor. When I walked in I saw my manager Dana, my publicist Shoshanna, a couple record company heads, Tommy, Ashley, Scarlett, and Lee. I immediately tensed up. Why were my friends here? Dana gestured toward the empty chair at the head of the table and I nervously sat.

“I know you’re wondering why we’re all here.”

“Adam you need to get help. You’re on this downward spiral … the fans are starting to notice. They are begging us to help you.” Scarlett’s eyes were wet with tears and I immediately grasped at the side arms of the chair tightly wrapping my fingers around them.

“We got you a place in an alcohol rehab center.” Tommy slid over a paper which apparently had info about this center on it. I refused to look at it instead focusing on a loose thread on my shirt.

“I’ll make sure that the news doesn’t get out. We’ll keep it very discreet.” As soon as Shosh said that I immediately got up and hit the table with my fist in frustration.

“I’m not going … I don’t have to!”

“Yes … yes you do!! You’re sick Adam, you need help.” Ashley started sobbing completely distraught over the whole situation apparently. Why wouldn’t they just let me alone?!? Lee stepped forward and gently put his hand on my shoulder in a calming gesture.

“Adam listen to me, I’ve known you before all this crap. You need help I don’t want to go to your funeral.”

“No!! I’m fine I can stop anytime I want to!!” I shoved his arm away and stormed out of the room. I could hear them yelling for me to come back but I ran to the elevator and managed to hit the express down button before any of them could get in it. Knowing they’d try the stairs, I raced out to the parking lot as soon as the elevator opened and sped away. It took me driving quite a few blocks until I noticed Sauli walking on the sidewalk. He noticed the car and walked over opening the car door to see tears starting to spill down my face.

“Adam what’s wrong?”

“Please, just get in.”

He sat in the passenger seat and I just started sobbing. I could feel his arms wrap around me and I relaxed myself into them.

“Shh it’s ok … you’ll be ok. What happened?”

“It was an intervention … they want me to get help.”

“Maybe, maybe that would be for the best Addy …” He whispered not wanting it to be seen as me being judged. Not wanting me to get defensive with him. If there was one person who I could hear it from it would be Sauli.

“No … I don’t need help. I can stop … I can stop anytime I want to. I just … haven’t wanted to.” I sighed my left hand clenching at the steering wheel.

“How much have you been drinking?” I glanced at him a moment my brain wanting to go into defense mode but my heart not letting me. His eyes staring back at me weren’t attacking or judgmental … they were kind and gentle. If I could be honest with anyone it would be with him.

“At least a bottle a day … usually a bit more. Smoking pot at least every other day …”

He let out a worried sigh his hand gently rubbing my arm. My breath quickened at the contact my heart racing twice as fast.

“You can’t do this anymore Adam. You are so much stronger than that. If anyone can do it I know you can. You’ve always been a fighter …”

I bit my lip as the tears fell once more. “Sauli you don’t understand … I don’t want to fight. I don’t have anything to fight for anymore.”

“That’s not true. You can fight for your fans … for your family … for me. I’m here Adam, I’ll be right by your side if you need me.” He reached over and gently ran his fingers though my hair relaxing me. I snuggled against him and he kissed my forehead.

“I missed you so much Sauli. So very much …"

“I missed you too Adam. I’m sorry you’ve felt so alone … I never wanted you to feel that way. Are we heading back now?”

“I don’t know where to go. I know they’ll be waiting back at the condo for me. I don’t want to see them … I can’t see them right now.”

“Well come to my apartment with me then.”

I paused staring into his eyes making sure I had actually heard what I did.

“You … you sure your boyfriend won’t mind?”

He smirked at me cheekily before nudging me. “Who said I had one?”

“Well .. I guess I just figured a catch like you couldn’t stay single. I’m sure the boys are all over you like crazy.”

“Nah, nothing like that” He giggled shaking his head the hairs hanging down in his face bouncing around playfully. How could I live without him … how DID I live without him?

I started driving over to the apartment and Sauli took the lead inside. When we walked in Tye was sitting on the couch. He saw me and popped up for a hug with a huge smile on his face.

“Hey Adam!”

“Hi …” I mumbled my eyes still sore and swollen from crying.

He could tell that Sauli and I needed alone time so he smiled at the both of us before leaving early for work. I sat down on the couch and Sauli walked over and stared at me for a moment. He gently put his hand on my lap his eyes looking for permission. I nodded and he lowered himself onto my lap where I tenderly held him close. Sauli yawned and I just rubbed his back as he nuzzled my neck. Soon his gentle snores filled the room and I carefully laid down bringing him down on my chest. My eyelids got heavy and soon I drifted off to sleep as well.


	6. Don't Hurt Me

** Sauli **

When I woke up Adam was trembling beneath me a pool of sweat. His eyes were twitching and his heart was racing. He started thrashing in his sleep and I quickly stood up as he cried in terror. He jumped awake and started crying.

“Hey it’s ok … it’s ok Adam.” I tried to sooth him by rubbing his back but he was still all twitchy.

“They … they were trying to kill me.” He cried fear obvious in his voice. It was hard to see in front of my own eyes this strong fearless man so scared and afraid.

“Shh nobody is gonna hurt you I promise. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

I knew he was going through withdraw and I would need to keep his electrolytes up. His body started shaking and he screamed flailing his arms.

“No … NOOOO I don’t want to go!!! Please don’t take me NOOOO!!!!”

“It’s ok Addy nobody is here I won’t let anyone take you.” I wrapped my arms around him trying to calm him down but he struggled away from the constraint of my arms.

“NO DON’T HURT ME!!!!”

“Adam it’s me … it’s Sauli.”

He pushed me away from him and went to run out of the apartment. Luckily as he opened the door to run out Tye was standing there and stopped him. Together we managed to take him to the hospital … he needed more help than what I could give alone. They kept it discreet and checked him in under a different name. He was put him on a mild sedative and spent most of the next 48 hours being in complete hell. The terror on his face and the internal pain he was obviously under was heartbreaking. I stayed the whole time but he was so out of it he didn’t even know I was there. His symptoms finally started subsiding and they lowered the dose of the medication. I had pulled the chair up right against the bed and just ran my fingers thru his hair. He slowly woke up with scared eyes until his eyes met mine. He reached up and gently rubbed my cheek.

“Feeling better?”

“A little maybe …”

“I was scared for you … you thought I was trying to hurt you.” He let out a little whimper and I lovingly rubbed his face as he grimaced in pain. “I’ll help you through this … I haven’t left your side since we brought you here.”

Gently I laid on my side next to him letting him know exactly how much I cared for him. I leaned over and tenderly kissed his lips. He gave me a small smile and gently kissed me back. He wrapped his free arm around me and I snuggled into his chest just listening to his heartbeat. Was I really going to go down this road with him again?


	7. A New Journey

** Adam **

I had just gotten off stage from my first show in a year. I had dedicated the time to getting clean and sober and the fans were right beside me through it all. There was some fear that they would abandon me when they found out but that wasn’t anywhere near the case. I walked backstage and toward the lounge. As I approached I could just make out the tips of blonde curls above the couch and I got a huge smile on my face. I walked over and kissed his cheek.

“Hey baby …” The way his face lit up when he saw me was one of the most amazing sights in the world. It could make even my worst night 10000x better.

“So … what did you think?

“You were AMAZING … I’m so proud of you. Come here I want a hug.”

“I’m all sweaty baby.”

“I don’t care …” I walked over and he wrapped his arms around me snuggling against my sweaty body. I lifted him up and sat on the couch allowing him to get as close as he wanted. He had never left my side this whole time. He was always someone to talk to … a shoulder to lean on when I thought I couldn’t do it. I kissed at his neck and he smirked at me. “You’re all gross … you need a shower.”

“Hey I warned you …” I chuckled attacking his neck with kisses.

“I don’t mind I just want to be near you. This way I can take a shower with you later.” He smirked and I pushed him back on the couch laying on top of him fiercely attacking his face and neck with kisses. He was hysterically laughing underneath me and I had a brilliant smile on my face. This wasn’t going to be easy now … I would have to start doing shows again all over. This was what drove us apart in the first place. It wasn’t fair to have him sacrifice everything he wanted to do with his life for me. He could tell the change of expression on my face and scrunched up his face in concern. “What is it Addy?”

“Now we’re going to be in the same situation that made us break up in the first place.”

“Adam … I’m not going anywhere ok?” His eyes stared into mine the most piercing blue in the world. You could get lost in them and never want to be found. I sighed and ran my fingers thru his hair.

“It’s not fair to you Sauli … you would have to give up everything. That’s not fair to you …”

“Adam … it’s ok. I’d give up EVERYTHING for you. You mean the world to me. We’ll make it work don’t you worry.”

“You’re something special you know that sunshine?” I murmured as I lightly kissed his hair nuzzling my nose into it.

“Only when you tell me. Come on let’s get back to the condo. We’ll cuddle up in the jacuzzi and who knows where that might lead …”

I raised an eyebrow at him my lips intently pursed. “Mr. Koskinen are you trying to seduce me?”

“I don’t know Mr. Lambert. Are you saying that you want to be seduced?”

I bit at Sauli’s lip playfully knowing full well it always drove him CRAZY when I did that. We headed home and I walked into the bathroom to get the water to the correct temperature. Sauli walked up behind me while it was filling up and started nibbling and kissing at my neck.

“Mmmm so good baby … damn.”

I looked back and realized that he had already stripped. I lifted him up and playfully pushed him into the water. He took one look at me and pulled me in fully clothed.

“Sauli!!!”

He giggled as I playfully pushed him under the water going under after and kissing his perfect lips. I ripped off my sopping shirt and jeans balling them up before throwing them into a corner. I hovered over him as we started wrestling, water sloshing everywhere. We were both a giggly mess when I just looked into his eyes. Everything suddenly went dark and I found myself in bed with a wicked headache. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and was in shock when I saw the date. It was the date when I had run into Sauli at the bar, I realized that everything was a dream. I quickly got changed and haphazardly threw on some makeup. I figured that maybe Sauli would be there. I drove over and parked my car a little woozy yet from my alcohol binge that morning. I waited past 10pm which was the time he had appeared. In fact I waited till 11:45pm but there was no sign of him. I sighed and made my way out of the bar without even having anything to drink. I started walking down the street to the parking garage when I heard someone behind me calling my name. I turned and saw that it was Sauli.

“I thought it was you. Hey!”  

“Hi Sauli …”

He walked over with a huge smile on his face and gave me a heartwarming hug. I held on a good 5 seconds longer than I needed to and gently pulled away.

“So how are you? It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah it has. It’s been ok, taking life day by day.” I heard footsteps approaching from behind me and I saw Sauli’s face light up.

“There you are … Matt this is Adam. Adam this is my boyfriend Matt.”

I turned and saw a clean-shaven brunette twink standing in front of me. I was sad but he seemed so happy, and truth be told that’s all I wanted for him.

“So I finally get to meet the infamous Adam. Sauli tells me stories about you all the time.”

“Only good ones I hope.” Sauli giggled and nodded before hugging Matt and tenderly kissing his lips.

“We were going to head to the karaoke bar. You’re welcome to join us if you want to Adam.”

“Oh no that’s ok. You two have a good night.”

“It was really good to see you again Adam. We should go get coffee one day and catch up.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

He gave me one last hug and gently kissed my cheek before walking off with Matt hand in hand. I watched them for a moment as they swung their arms giddily and a smile formed on my face. I was happy he had found someone who could really be there for him … that could devote the majority of their life to him and not to their career. He would never be that lucky with me. When I got to the house I gathered up all the alcohol and threw it in the dumpster outside … it was time to clean up my act.

** 3 years later **

I thanked the driver as he dropped me off at the front of the hotel’s ballroom. My tie was a bit crooked so I straightened it using the door as a mirror and made my way inside. It didn’t take long to spot Sauli and I walked over with a smile. He saw me and wrapped his arms around me. He was a complete mess.

“Awe you’re so nervous calm down.”

“I’m so happy you’re here.” I just soothingly patted his back and soon he pulled away. “Thank you for being here for me … it really means a lot.”

“Hey I have to be here for my best friend’s wedding don’t I? I’m so happy for you Sauli really I am.”

Suddenly the doors opened and I immediately smiled and walked over wrapping my arms around the man who walked in. He was all frazzled and it was absolutely adorable.

“Sorry Adam I got stuck in traffic.”

“It’s ok you’re right on time.”

Sauli hadn’t met my new boyfriend Joe yet seeing as I wanted to make sure things were pretty serious before introducing him to the only other guy who meant the world to me. Introducing him to Sauli was a HUGE deal for me. After dating him for almost a year I finally felt comfortable enough to. I grabbed his arm and walked over to Sauli again.

“Sauli … this is Joe. Joe this is Sauli.”

“Oh so you’re this Joe I keep hearing about. I was wondering when he was going to let me meet you.” Sauli smiled and gave Joe a hug which kinda took him by surprise. “Sorry I’m just a huggy guy …”

“Oh no … that’s fine I’m sorry just caught me off guard. It’s really good to finally meet you. Adam talks about you so much it’s like I already know you.”

Just then Sauli’s twin Sara came in the room to tell Sauli that they were ready for everyone. Joe made his way inside and took a seat near the back and I walked over giving Sara a kiss on the cheek. She was going to be my escort seeing as though she was Sauli’s maid of honor and I was his best man. We slowly made our way inside the church with Sauli walking very slowly after us. The ceremony went off without a hitch and finally Sauli and Matt were married. I was so happy for the two of them. They were perfect for each other. Joe got called into work so he ditched me at the reception which bummed me out a bit. Sauli noticed I was there alone and walked over extending his hand.

“Dance with me?”

“Sure.”

There was a fast song playing but then suddenly a slow song started. I hesitated but Sauli pulled me in close anyway as we slowly made or way around the dance floor. He leaned closer to my ear before speaking.

“I always would’ve thought that our first dance like this would be our first dance as husbands.”

“Me too … but I’m so happy for you Sauli. So very happy that you’re happy.”

“I am, I just …”

Matt walked over and cut in which I allowed him to do … it was their wedding night after all. But I couldn’t help but notice Sauli’s glances at me over Matt’s shoulder as he spun him around the dance floor.


	8. It Was Second Nature

** Sauli **

I sat up in bed wincing as I extended my arm the dark purple bruises littered on my flesh stinging as each muscle extended. Matt walked in the room and I immediately scrunched against the headboard, after a year and a half it was second nature.

“Stop being a pussy Sauli. I’m getting really sick of your shit!!”

“I … I didn’t do anything.” I stammered cowering scared to death of him … this was exactly the WRONG thing to do.

“You didn’t do anything!?! YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!?! You’re right YOU DON’T DO A FUCKING THING YOU STUPID LAZY PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!”

Before I could block him he swung and punched me hard across the face. Blood seeped out of my nose and I went to get up. As I did he grabbed me harshly shoving me down on the bed and choking me. I gasped and struggled underneath him trying to get him off of me. Finally he let go as I tried to get air into my lungs. He shoved me to the floor making me cry out as I landed on the bruises. He just cursed me under his breath and left the room. He wasn’t always like this … he could be THE nicest man on the planet when he wanted to be. He had just gotten a promotion at work 6 months ago and that’s when he really started with the violence. He was always apologetic saying it was because of stress. I loved him so much but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had, had enough … I wasn’t going to take it anymore. I could hear the front door slam shut and soon I could see his car pull away. I walked into the bathroom to clean up my blood stained face. As the water hit it I yelped and realized that it wasn’t just my nose the blood was coming from, it was an almost 3 inch gash on my cheek. I lived pretty close to a clinic so I slowly made my way over there, I knew it needed stitches. Of course they asked how it happened and I said that I was practicing boxing and someone accidentally hit me. They stitched up my cheek and I made my way over to a nearby diner where I sat down to try to eat something. It hurt like hell to open my jaw but I was starving. I pulled out my phone and pulled up Adam’s number sending him a quick text.

_Are you busy?_

_-Never too busy for you Sauli. What’s up?_

_Can you come to Starlight diner? I really need someone right now._

_-Of course I’ll be there in 10 minutes._

Sure enough just about 10 minutes later the door chimed and Adam walked in making his way back to the booth I was sitting in. I was sitting with my bad side away from the opening so when he walked in he didn’t see. He smiled and leaned down kissing my cheek.

“What’s wrong?” I sadly turned toward him and he gasped as he saw the huge gash and the black and blue marks that were spreading across my face. “Oh my god what the hell happened Sauli!?!”

“It’s … Matt. He’s been hurting me off and on the whole time we’ve been together. It’s gotten really bad since his promotion at work.” I winced from talking and Adam gently touched the skin his eyes intently staring.

“Sauli … why did you stay with him? You could’ve told me.”

“I love him Adam … I love him so much. When he’s nice he so nice, and he takes good care of me.”

“No this isn’t taking good care of you Sauli. I won’t let him put another finger on you I promise but you have to leave him. You can’t let him do this anymore.”

“I’m scared … he almost killed me today. He strangled me and I could see my life passing before my eyes … he’s so violent when he wants to be.”

“Is he home?”

“No he left for work.” I brought the cup of soup I had ordered to my lips and eagerly gulped at it.

“We’re going over there and we’re going to pick up your stuff. You’re coming to stay with me for the time being.”

“There’s no room for me there Adam … it’s ok I’ll find a hotel or something. Maybe I can stay with Pia.”

“I’ll make room … don’t you worry sunshine.”

“That’s not fair to Joe … I don’t want to intrude.”

“Sauli you’re coming with me and that’s final. Now finish up and come on.”

We managed to pack my stuff and head over to Adam’s place. He got me settled in the living room on the pull out sofa but had to leave for a bit for a quick meeting. I just snuggled up and fell asleep.


	9. Are You Sure That's Ok

** Adam **

It was about 8:30pm when I got home from my meeting and I found Sauli out cold on the couch. He looked so uncomfortable the way he was laying so I gently reached down to move him. When my hands touched him he screamed in terror and shot up. When he realized it was me he started sobbing.

“It’s just me you’re ok. I’m sorry … you looked so uncomfortable the way you were laying. I was just trying to reposition you. I didn’t mean to scare you … shh.” He was crying so hard he couldn’t make words out. “Come here it’s ok … I’m sorry.” I gently picked him up and cradled him in my arms. I brought him into the bedroom and laid down bringing him down on my chest. It wasn’t meant to be a sexual gesture just one of knowing that he needed to be close to someone he trusted right now. Sauli just laid there with his head over my heart, tears pooling thru my shirt. I started running my fingers down his back like I had years before. As he laid there I just sang softly to him trying to calm him down. He finally relaxed and the tears subsided. My hand hit his side gently as I went to move it and he yelped. “What’s wrong?!?”

He slowly got off of me and removed his shirt. His chest and sides were completely littered with bruises and cuts.

“They hurt … especially this new one on my side and my right arm.” He mumbled hanging his head in shame. It killed me knowing that he had kept all this inside all this time.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner Sauli … I could’ve helped you then. This might not have happened.”

“I was embarrassed … I didn’t want to admit it.”

“You don’t need to be embarrassed. I’m here for you always have been always will be you know that. You look exhausted … come on lie down.” I slid off my shirt and opened my arms. He went to lay in them but hesitated.

“Are you sure … that’s ok?”

“I just want to comfort you … make you feel safe. I just want you to feel safe.”

He gently snuggled on my chest skin-on-skin and soon drifted off to sleep. I tenderly ran my fingers up and down his back. I just wanted him to know just how much he still meant to me. Suddenly I heard the front door open and I curiously listened worried for a moment. As soon as I heard the sound of keys clanking on the plate in the hallway I relaxed … it was just Joe. He walked into the bedroom and he froze at the doorway as I put a finger to my lips to indicate Sauli was sleeping.

“What the fuck?!?”

“Sauli’s sleeping …” I whispered gently tracing his spine to try to keep him asleep.

“I get that, what the fuck is he doing in here?!?”

“He’s having a rough time right now. Matt was abusing him. He was so frightened … I just want to make him feel safe. I’m the only one that can.”

“No way in hell am I going to put up with this. Wake him up!” He stomped his feet like a spoiled child not getting their way and I just rolled my eyes at him.

“No he’s been thru enough today I’m not waking him.” I hissed as he chucked an empty soda can at my head.

“GET HIM OUT!”

“No I’m not … stop acting like a spoiled cunt! Get out!”

“FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!”

He slammed the bedroom door but Sauli didn’t budge. Tears spilled out on my chest and I gently lifted his face to see him wide awake.

“I’m sorry Adam … I’ll leave.”

“You’ll do no such thing. Don’t listen to him sunshine. You stay right here.”

I kissed his forehead and Sauli snuggled back down. I ended up falling asleep not even 10 minutes after he did thoroughly enjoying his weight on my chest.


	10. This Is My Fault

** Sauli **

I opened my eyes to Adam’s arm draped over my back and snoring sweetly. I smiled at the sight … it brought back such amazing memories. I heard an agitated grunt and lifted up a bit looking toward the door where Joe was standing staring looking pissed off.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing … just sleeping.” My words came out shakier than I intended but I hated confrontation anymore.

“What made you think you had the right to sleep on my boyfriend’s chest?”

“I wasn’t doing anything … I’m sorry I just …”

“Leave … get the fuck out of here NOW. Or I’ll make you wish you did.”

I carefully got up without disturbing Adam and gathered my stuff in the backpack. I slid my shirt back on and grabbed the bag before leaving, Joe staring at me viciously the whole time. I was trying to figure out exactly where I was going to stay. I found the closest hotel that was within my budget and started walking the 10 miles to the hotel wincing with every movement. I was about halfway there when I cut down an alley to shave off a bit of time I was about halfway down it when a car started traveling toward me. I didn’t think anything of it at first and moved off to the side. Then it suddenly sped up and slammed into me. I crumpled to the ground in complete agony as I blacked out. I woke up in a dimly lit hospital room and Adam was sitting in a nearby chair crying with his head in his hands. He noticed I was awake and walked over.

“Hi baby … how are you feeling?”

“It hurts everything … hurts. What happened?”

“Matt followed you … he hit you with his car,” He walked over and kissed my forehead lovingly running his fingers thru my hair. “This is all my fault.”

“No Adam … it’s not.”

“Yes it is … I should’ve kicked that spoiled bitch out months ago. He’s been bleeding my money for as long as I can remember. But he’s a warm body to sleep with and someone who can, you know satisfy my needs.” I giggled a bit which caused me to wince. He was leaning down so I moved a bit placing my lips on his neck. He smiled and I went to continue when he stopped me. “No sunshine … you just rest. I’m right here.”

“I love … you.”

“And I love you … I’ve never stopped loving you baby, ever.”

I reached up and wiped the tear that fell from his eye away before kissing his hand grasping it tightly in mine. “When can I go home?”

“A few more days … you’ve been here 18 days already. They had you on so many pain meds … you weren’t really with it. I’ll bring you back to the condo and take good care of you … if you want me to that is?”

“I want … nothing … else Addy.”

The pain was starting to get a little harder to deal with so Adam gently pulled the chair over and ran his fingers through my hair until I was out cold.


	11. They All Lived Happily Ever After

** Adam **

“And they all lived happily ever after … the end. Come on Erica it’s time for bed now.”

“But daddy … one more story?” Her little eyes pleaded with me but I just shook my head no.

“I already read you two. Come on princess let’s tuck you in you have a big day tomorrow. Goodnight.”

I kissed her forehead and went to walk out of the room when I heard her little voice say _“daddy”_ and stopped in my tracks turning around.

“What princess?”

“What if I don’t like school? What if I’m not smart enough?” I frowned walking over to her and gently brushed her hair out of her face.

“You are the smartest little girl I know.”

“I’m the ONLY little girl you know.” I laughed and gently pulled her into a hug kissing her before pulling away. She was such a bright inquisitive little one.

“Don’t you worry you’re going to love Kindergarten. I love you Erica.”

“I love you daddy.”

I smiled and walked out of the room closing the door behind me. I walked into my bedroom and jumped on the bed with a tickle attack.

“Addy … stop … come on stop.” Sauli whined underneath wriggling around like he was having a seizure.  

“Make me.” I growled at him as he laughed lovingly kissing my lips. I wrapped my arms around him as I snuggled on his chest. He made me feel so at home. “Erica is in bed finally, hopefully she stays there.”

“She’s just nervous about tomorrow I think. Can you believe that tomorrow it’s been 7 years? And how ironic that it falls on her first day of school?”

“No … I really can’t. It seems just yesterday we said ‘I do’. I still can’t believe you’re mine even after all this time.”

“Well I’m not going anywhere Addy … I never should’ve left.” Sauli frowned and I shook my head at him lightly taking his face in my hands.  

“No … don’t take us back to the past again. Just stay in the now … stay right here with me.”

“Always baby … always.” 


End file.
